The Importance Of Setting Boundaries And Limits With The People In Your Life
by Benjamin Marta
Occasionally, people in our life, like friends and family, will get a little closer than we’d like them to, and this may make us feel uncomfortable. Being uncomfortable in any given situation usually makes us feel some type of negative emotion like anxiety, self-doubt, or even fear. And I don’t know about you, but I hate feeling uncomfortable it gives me the heebie-jeebies.
To avoid these particular situations in the future, it’s important for us to remember to set boundaries and limits with those around us. In the G.I.P program, Melinda Rae, teaches us about the benefits setting boundaries and limits may have on our personal relationships.
What Are Boundaries?
Good Question! Melinda describes boundaries as “imaginary lines that help you protect yourself both physically and emotionally.” That’s a pretty cool way of thinking about it, don’t you think? Imaginary lines?
So the next time we feel emotionally or physically uncomfortable in a situation, let’s try and picture these imaginary lines Melinda is talking about. It’s a handy tool to have because it helps to keep us safe and protected from the unwanted situations people may put us in.
How Do I Develop Limits And Boundaries?
Well, I’m glad you asked! The best way to start setting boundaries and limits is to become self-aware; be aware of how you feel every day. Melinda says, in the G.I.P curriculum, that it’s important for you to “evaluate yourself and your relationships; identify changes you can make which will make you feel respected.”
What does this mean? Well, it means that we need to try and notice when we’re feeling or starting to feel uncomfortable. Next time we notice ourselves feeling uncomfortable, let’s think about what caused us to feel this way and why. If the people around us are causing us discomfort, then we know it’s time to start setting boundaries and limits with them.
For example, some of my friends and family, well… let’s just say they can be a little nosy at times. They want to know certain things about my life which I’d rather not share, and it makes me feel uncomfortable when they ask about it. So, you know what I did? Yeah, you got it. I set some boundaries and limits!
Remember, we don’t have to be rude when setting boundaries and limits, but sometimes we do have to remind people of them when they forget. And if our friends and family have a hard time remembering, we can politely say, “remember those boundaries we talked about?” Communicating clearly with your friends and family helps to keep your boundaries stable and firmly in place. Don’t let anyone change your limits and boundaries without your permission. You are the only one who can change them.
Why Are Setting Boundaries And Limits So Important?
Well, basically they help improve the quality of our life. Who doesn’t want that, right? Having a high quality of life means that we are going to be living in a way that’s more fun and enjoyable for us.
You might be curious about how setting boundaries and limits helps to improve the quality of our life. Essentially, they help eliminate all the things we don’t like other people to do or say to us. Melinda says it best when she states that they work to “keep the actions and behaviors of others from: hurting, distracting, annoying, or imposing on you.” Not a bad idea, huh?
The next time a friend or family member makes you feel uncomfortable, try to remember what we talked about here today. Communicate with them about how you’re feeling and let them know which boundaries and limits you wish to start setting with them. We, here at G.I.P, are always here for you and we know that you can make your life the best life for you with the help of setting boundaries and limits.