Setting Boundaries And Limits With The People In Your Life

The Importance Of Setting Boundaries And Limits With The People In Your Life

by Benjamin Marta

Occasionally, people in our life, like friends and family, will get a little closer than we’d like them to, and this may make us feel uncomfortable. Being uncomfortable in any given situation usually makes us feel some type of negative emotion like anxiety, self-doubt, or even fear. And I don’t know about you, but I hate feeling uncomfortable it gives me the heebie-jeebies.

To avoid these particular situations in the future, it’s important for us to remember to set boundaries and limits with those around us. In the G.I.P program, Melinda Rae, teaches us about the benefits setting boundaries and limits may have on our personal relationships.

What Are Boundaries?

setting boundaries and limitsGood Question! Melinda describes boundaries as “imaginary lines that help you protect yourself both physically and emotionally.” That’s a pretty cool way of thinking about it, don’t you think? Imaginary lines?

So the next time we feel emotionally or physically uncomfortable in a situation, let’s try and picture these imaginary lines Melinda is talking about. It’s a handy tool to have because it helps to keep us safe and protected from the unwanted situations people may put us in.

How Do I Develop Limits And Boundaries?

Well, I’m glad you asked! The best way to start setting boundaries and limits is to become self-aware; be aware of how you feel every day. Melinda says, in the G.I.P curriculum, that it’s important for you to “evaluate yourself and your relationships; identify changes you can make which will make you feel respected.”

What does this mean? Well, it means that we need to try and notice when we’re feeling or starting to feel uncomfortable. Next time we notice ourselves feeling uncomfortable, let’s think about what caused us to feel this way and why. If the people around us are causing us discomfort, then we know it’s time to start setting boundaries and limits with them.

setting boundaries and limitsFor example, some of my friends and family, well… let’s just say they can be a little nosy at times. They want to know certain things about my life which I’d rather not share, and it makes me feel uncomfortable when they ask about it. So, you know what I did? Yeah, you got it. I set some boundaries and limits!

Remember, we don’t have to be rude when setting boundaries and limits, but sometimes we do have to remind people of them when they forget. And if our friends and family have a hard time remembering, we can politely say, “remember those boundaries we talked about?” Communicating clearly with your friends and family helps to keep your boundaries stable and firmly in place. Don’t let anyone change your limits and boundaries without your permission. You are the only one who can change them.

Why Are Setting Boundaries And Limits So Important?

Well, basically they help improve the quality of our life. Who doesn’t want that, right? Having a high quality of life means that we are going to be living in a way that’s more fun and enjoyable for us.

You might be curious about how setting boundaries and limits helps to improve the quality of our life. Essentially, they help eliminate all the things we don’t like other people to do or say to us. Melinda says it best when she states that they work to “keep the actions and behaviors of others from: hurting, distracting, annoying, or imposing on you.” Not a bad idea, huh?

The next time a friend or family member makes you feel uncomfortable, try to remember what we talked about here today. Communicate with them about how you’re feeling and let them know which boundaries and limits you wish to start setting with them. We, here at G.I.P, are always here for you and we know that you can make your life the best life for you with the help of setting boundaries and limits.

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Melinda Interviews Jennifer Cassetta April 16th

Join Melinda on the Girls in Power Radio Show as she interviews Jennifer Cassetta.

Jennifer CassettaJennifer Cassetta’s unique whole-body approach to health blends her extensive training in HapKiDo with her holistic approach to fitness and nutrition. As a NASM certified personal trainer and third-degree black belt in HapKiDo, she has created numerous personalized programs designed to help client’s achieve fitness goals while relieving the stress of city living.

Because Jennifer knows that nutrition plays a key role in optimal wellness, she has pursued it on both personal and professional levels. In 2005, she completed the Holistic Health program at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, and went on to graduate as a clinical nutritionist from the University of Bridgeport, CT, with a Master’s of Science in Nutrition in 2009.

While doing so, Jennifer spent 10 years training under the nationally recognized, top HapKiDo instructor in the country, Sabumnim David Herbert (7th Dan) in NYC. She also holds a black belt in VSK Jujitsu, after working with the martial arts Hall-of-Famer Soke Lil’ John Davis. All of this training sparked a deep sense of strength, determination and empowerment in her that she now wishes to share with others.

In 2009, Jennifer brought her myriad skills to Los Angeles, where her clients include celebrities, royalty, corporations, CEOs and moms and dads. She conducts Stilettos and Self Defense seminars, and has created the popular Stilettos and Self Defense DVD series. Most recently, she worked with the Ultimate Fighting Championship to develop nutrition and fitness training guidelines for its new video game, the UFC Personal Trainer. She now has teamed up with Beachbody as a Master Trainer and is certifying people in the popular P90X training program.

Jennifer has made appearances on NPR (National Public Radio), E! TV, KCAL9, KTLA-TV, KNBC-TV and on The Today Show with Kathie Lee and Hoda.  Jenny McCarthy even learned some self defense moves from Jennifer during a segment she taped for a talk show pilot for NBC. She’s also been featured in the NY PostWall Street JournalMarie ClaireWomen’s Health and many other publications.

Thank you for tuning in to the Girls in Power Radio Show

melinda rae

Download a FREE 55 Minute Audio Preview of Melinda’s book “Empower Your Girl” Here

Check out Melinda’s TV interview on the Get Moving TV Show HERE

You can visit the Girls in Power website HERE

“We feel it is much easier to empower a youth than it is to repair an adult” ~ Melinda Rae

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Reach For The Stars Interview with Dr. Nicoline Ambe

Interview – Reach For The Stars with Dr. Nicoline Ambe

Please join us in welcoming Dr. Nicoline Ambe to the Girls in Power Radio Show.  Our interview airs on the GIP Radio Show at 10AM Thursday, April 11th.

Reach For The Stars with Dr. Nicoline Ambe

“I currently work as a special education teacher, providing remedial and intervention services to general education students in grades K-5.

My experience in teaching spans 17 years. I have taught students of different age groups, skill levels and cultural/racial backgrounds in universities, colleges and elementary schools across Canada and the United States. These experiences have given me a deep understanding of students as far as teaching and learning are concerned, and the simple but powerful habits that parents can implement at home to empower their children do well in school.

As a parent and aunt, I understand the unique challenges that parents face, and the kind of help they need to instill academic excellence in their children.”

~ Nicoline Ambe

Thank you so much for supporting Girls in Power – We are having our first ever fundraiser on April 12th and would love for you to participate! Girls in Power’s Give the Gift Gala

Empower Your Girl by Melinda Rae

Get more information on Workshops HERE (a few spots are still left for ages 8-12 starting in March)

Download a FREE 55 Minute Audio Preview of Melinda’s book “Empower Your Girl” Here

Check out Melinda’s TV interview on the Get Moving TV Show HERE

You can visit the Girls in Power website HERE

“We feel it is much easier to empower a youth than it is to repair an adult” ~ Melinda Rae

Joint Venture Empowers Community Members in Conejo Valley

What a difference a year makes.

A year ago I was getting ready to launch Girls in Power workshops at the Conejo Valley YMCA. Our success with equipping girls and mothers with self-value, self-respect and empowerment was possible because of that partnership. YMCA helped Girls in Power lay a strong foundation in 2012 by allowing us to use their facility to operate our flagship “Program” for girls’ ages 8-16 years old.

Today, I rejoice with announcing the partnership between YogaWorks of Westlake Village, CA and Girls in Power.

mike-yogaworksAfter sitting down with the President/CEO Phil Swain and RVP Mike Leonard and sharing the Girls in Power vision and mission it became apparent we would be able to expand our reach by offering more workshops per week and have the ability to serve more girls and families.

Many women have asked me when I will have a program for the “big girls?” GIP recognizes the need for all people to have access to the Girls in Power programming. My wish has always been to have the ability to provide more services to our community with the possibility of national expansion. YogaWorks has made that possible. YogaWorks has provided the space to run girl’s workshops, women workshops and parent workshops. We are excited to announce on March 17, Girls in Power will launch tween workshops for girls ages 9-12 and parent workshops; open to parents of pre-teen and teen-aged daughters. In April, Girls in Power for Women will launch Let’s Talk: Inspire the Girl Inside” skill-building workshops to help women connect with their hearts and find inner strength to develop their own identity, inspirations, and passions.”

Melinda Soroptimist

YogaWorks, built on a strong business foundation of “never compromising quality and integrity; the cornerstone of their company, teacher training, and programs” is “nestled in the foothills of the Santa Monica Mountains just a few minutes from Malibu’s beaches, Westlake Village is an outdoorsy community with cycling paths, miles of hiking and nature trails, golf courses and even a lake for small boats.”

We have locked arms with YogaWorks who has a similar mission to the GIP Foundation, Inc. which is “to honor and embrace each student’s search for personal growth, wellbeing, and fulfillment by offering the highest quality yoga programs to people of all ages and from all walks of life.” GIP Foundation has the mission “to uplift, empower, teach, and support at risk female adults, teens, and children so that they can become emotionally, physically, and financially self-reliant in order to become mindful contributors to their communities and to promote these activities of the corporation throughout the communities where it will operate.”

YogaWorks exemplifies their corporate responsibility by using an approach which is “safe, compassionate and skillful teaching.”
One thing you will hear me saying is “with the support of others we will be “powerful” collectively; to provide more programs and impact our teens to increase self-confidence, self-awareness and self-esteem. A perfect match has been made with YogaWorks who believes, “the power of many is greater than the power of one.”


People have high expectations that companies should act responsibly. A business must satisfy the first rule which is “to do no harm” and if this is not done then no amount of stewardship, giving or employee volunteerism will make a difference or even matter. Girls in Power believes YogaWorks is perfectly lined up with a successful track record for ensuring customers have fun, learn from well-trained teachers, leading from honesty, integrity and respect and as well as they desire to continue to create an environment where everyone grows.

Tweens Meet-Up GIP Club @ Yogaworks Westlake Village

Begins March 19th
(9-10-11-12 years of age)
Tuesday 4:30-6:30pm
Parent Information March 12th 6pm-7pm
Dates Biweekly GIP Club meetings for GIRLS: Tuesday’s @ 4:30-6:30pm–Mar 19, Apr 2, Apr 16, Apr 30, May 14
Dates Biweekly GIP Chat Time for GIRLS: Tuesday’s @ 5:30-6:30pm–March 26, April 9, April 23, May 7

LIVE Event 1 – Sunday, March 17, 1pm – 5:30pm
Kick-Off Moms/Daughters skill-building workshops

LIVE Event 2 – Sunday, April 14, 1pm – 5:30pm
Girls (only) skill-building workshops/bonding/Peer Role Models-

LIVE Event 3 – Saturday May 18, 11am – 4pm Moms/Daughters skill-building workshops & graduation

NEW GIP Leadership and Empowerment Teen Workshops – Meet at Yogaworks Westlake Village
GIP assisted by the TO Youth Commission
Location: Yogaworks
2475 Townsgate Road Westlake Village

(13-16 years)
Limited to 10 girls
Monday 4:30 pm-6:30 pm
Parent Information Meeting April 18
Dates: (April 25, May 2, May 9, May 16 (Special event: Civic Arts Plaza), and May 23, May 30, June 6)
Graduation June 6

Finding Joy and Satisfaction in Daily Living

Finding joy and satisfaction in daily living helps me feel fulfilled, peace and zest each day. You are promised a full and satisfied life.

In my book, Empower Your Girl, I share tips and tools on how to find satisfaction and joy in your daily life.

Do you find yourself thinking, “I am not satisfied, I missed an opportunity, I lost my dream or my dreams have passed me by?”

If you are not happy, and have feelings overwhelming you; distracted, unfulfilled then consider the options you have. It is your choice and you can make the change; it is your choice on how you create more time, more space, more fulfillment, more focus, more energy, and more peace. Taking back control of your calendar or agenda, creating space and margins to rest and be still will all lead you to feeling more energy and engaged with things which make you feel alive and at peace” (Crown, 2012).

Empower Your Girl shares one tool I use to find my joy and satisfaction, daily, by evaluating and reviewing my life priorities, using a “Wheel of Life.”


This is a template used by many as is a model, which helps me stay in the moment by knowing what my priorities are; ultimately helping me live with intention in everything I do. I found it gave me a quick and easy way to graphically identify the areas in my life to of which I want to devote more energy to, and help me understand where I might want to cut back. My wheel of life empowers me to stay focused and not get “off balance,” continue to develop awareness of important areas, reduce stress and frustration. The wheel of life gave me a “helicopter view” of my life helping me when the road got BUMPY and I know it can help you too” (Crown, 2012).  **Download Empower Your Girl here

You ultimately have to have a reason to get out of bed every morning. You need to have dreams, visions and hopes. By taking the time to evaluate your life as it is, reviewing how you spend your time daily will illuminate if your priorities are congruent with your goals and dreams.

Staying productive is good, but what you do, is more important and a key element to finding joy. Keeping active is great, but ensuring your on track to achieving your goals is crucial and vital to you finding joy and satisfaction.

Melinda’s “Top Secret” No. 1

Each morning, before I start worrying about my day and my “to do list” or looking at my phone and computer I grab my cup of coffee and grab my devotionals.

I use Sarah Young’s Jesus Calling and Joel Osteen’s Your Best Life each morning.

Starting my day with being still, filling my mind with positive ideas, refreshing wise words, and faith of possibilities, help me at a foundational level.

Sometimes the devotion gives me the focus I need or a reminder that God is with me. Sometimes I connect with scripture or a call to action of thankfulness and gratefulness. Whatever the message for the day is…I am stepping out in the world with a positive frame of mind, a positive spirit and a hope for my future.


My Kindle Book Empower Your Girl is LIVE!

Empower Your Girl Kindle Book

Wow, what a day… My first book, Empower Your Girl, is available on Amazon today, 12-12-12.  We decided to price it really low at only $2.99.  Less than a Soy Cappucino at Starbucks :0)  You can get your copy here Empower Your Girl by Melinda Crown

I am blown away at how easy they make things for people that want to download Kindle books.  Here are a few things I didn’t know until recently…

  1. You don’t have to have a Kindle to download and read a Kindle book.  You can read Kindle books on your Android phone or tablet, iPad, iPhone, Mac, Windows 8 PC or tablet, BlackBerry, or Windows Phone.  Here is a link to all of them Free Kindle Reading Apps
  2. Amazon has a type of account called Prime. With Prime, Kindle owners can choose from over 145,000 titles to borrow for free – including all seven Harry Potter books and more than 100 current and former New York Times Bestsellers – as frequently as a book a month, with no due dates.  Info Here  Amazon Prime
  3. You can “LIKE” someones book, and share your LIKE on Facebook and other Social Media accounts which helps with rankings just like reviews do Try it out  :0) LIKE and SHARE here
  4. Once you have your Amazon account set up, you can buy and download to the device of your choice with practically one click and be reading your new book in seconds

So amazing and easy to access, share, and enjoy!  Thanks again for all of your support and please enjoy the book if you get a copy of it.  If you do, I would appreciate it if you could write a brief review, even is it’s just sentence or two!


Excerpt from the Empower Your Girl Prologue:

Every parent, at one time or another, feels inadequate in some way and unable to effectively communicate with their pre-teen or teenager.  As a parent of 3 daughters and the author of this guidebook, entitled “Empower Your Girl”, I am thrilled to be able to offer you what has worked for me and effectively helped me become a proactive parent, set appropriate boundaries, and given my girls the ability to manage their anxieties and to communicate their needs to me.

At times on my journey as a parent, I lacked value and felt worthlessness, shame and guilt. Through hard work and focus along with hope, faith and trust I have become successful at managing myself as well as effectively communicating with others, especially my daughters. On my journey I discovered as I learned how to feel empathy and compassion for my special needs daughter, I was able to connect with her, learn from her; ultimately leading to my ability to empower her.

This guidebook will help you know what it means to focus on other people rather than yourself, enabling you to listen and effectively communicate to your daughter. You will also develop ways of coping and managing your time better; enabling you to teach your daughter the keys she needs for her success. I found once I was able to better time-manage, find value in myself, and manage my anxiety I was better able to “hear” my daughter which created an opportunity for bond that led to a deep love and understanding of each other. The best thing you can do to help your daughter, is to help her believe in herself, draw appropriate boundaries, and manage her anxious thoughts……

Download the FREE Audio Preview Here



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Empower Your Girl Kindle Book

Grab Your Free Audio Preview HERE

Empower Your Girl Kindle Book Audio PreviewDownload Kindle Book Now

Empower Your Girl is a guide to help your daughter believe in herself, to draw appropriate boundaries, and manage anxious thoughts.  This guide enables and empowers you, as a mother, to be the most positive and influential role model in your daughters life.  It helps you guide your daughter find herself, to be real, to effectively communicate with her peers, and advocate for herself.

The guide focuses on helping you come from the heart with empathy, compassion, listening, and modeling love and respect.